apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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