We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
