It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
