and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Dignity is for republicans.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
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