and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
