I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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