Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
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Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
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No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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