You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
