Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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