the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
