Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
