i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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