god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Randomize