he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
