She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
