Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
