I love black thongs
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
These tits shall not be calmed
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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