I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
