dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
