Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
