Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
