no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize
