are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
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He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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