The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
