After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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