Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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