I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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