hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
