he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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