spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
