That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
