So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
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I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
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I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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