I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
