What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
