How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Randomize
