He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Drunk is not a location!
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
