I bet he comes in French.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
We are two peas in an std pod
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
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