Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
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i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
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I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize