Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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