is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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