I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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