Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
