Kareoke will never be a sober sport
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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