Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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