so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
