why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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