im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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