tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
