tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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