i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
