He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
