You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
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