thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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