i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
