My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Randomize
